9/4/2011 at 7:55 AM
Now Arshad is gone for ever.
I grew up with few children around in the family....Aneesa, who was five years older, and Arshad, six years my senior, were the only ones. The age difference tells, but there was a great deal of affection between us. We did a great number of things together, the three of us, and he was also my examplar, my reference point and my mentor as we grew up How on earth do you ever recognise or quantify all that?
I must have been about eighteen when he left for England, and then I emigrated quite soon after his return........but the bond between us remained. He was responsible for the family set up in Karachi, and ultimately my parents moved there also. He was very much for the family and for keeping contact with people. His loving meant that he took a great deal of responsibility for others and, if anything, he cared too much. He kept contact with me and my children, who grew up knowing him.
I last saw him when he was returning from America to Karachi in 2003. I had asked him to visit me on the way and he did. Unfortunately I had a heart attack just days before he came and I was in hospital when he arrived, although I was out before he left after a few days. It was then that I first noticed some odd changes in him which I then thought maybe were caused by tiredness of travel but now think may have been the earliest evidence of his Alzheimer's disease. Thereafter we exchanged emails from time to time....not as frequently as we wished.......and I always said I was the tardy one, something he accepted with good grace.
Then about three or four years ago, his meticulous language in emails began to disintegrate. Things only got worse after that. I was asked for some advice earlier this year, and found out more but Raheel particularly,and Faheem and all those who were near him carried all the burden and I do not see how anyone could have done any better. A loving family returned his love. When you remember him, please remember that also.
Life is a funny thing and You come across a lot of changes and deal with them . I shall always remember him as he was most of his life. I hope he did not suffer too much at the end of it.