Since Geni has a new little collaborator system going on (someone you have a stack with, but aren't collaborating with, your mutual collaborator can take care of for you), I've gone and cancelled all my pending merge requests prior to April 2010.
I've noticed if I cancel all my requests, I can go back to my merge list and ask one of my collaborators to take care of it. It allows me to weed out the ones who don't have a mutual collaborator, and I can just choose the option of not merging the 2 profiles.
How I do this is go to my inbox.
Click on Requests.
Click on Sent.
Go the farthest back (mine was at about 50 pages or so) and start from the oldest and work my way through. Then I go back to my merge list and they will just be "stacks" and not actual merges waiting to be merged by a person who never signs in anymore, and my collaborator's name will be in a drop-down list to choose from. It makes it so much easier. I've had almost 600 pending merges, and now I'm down to about 500. I'm happy.
I keep a list of all the people who I've asked for merge/collaboration, with dates of first and last contact. Once they've been unresponsive to a couple of requests separated by weeks, I feel justified in asking others for merges (at least if it matters), and I don't want to harass them with more requests.
I've seen people respond 2 months after the last contact, though.... my list is more than 150 names long by now...
I had just send Geni help a request for a link to the open request. It is frustrating to attempt a profile merge, only to discover that it is locked by an unaswered request. Then I must scroll through my list of 300 unanswered merge request & find the one to cancel. When (& if) successful, I can then try a collaborator - if there is one. I think that Geni should release all profiles where the manager has not logged on in 90 days, unless a manager requests an extension (illness, jail, or something like that....)