Joseph H Alexander - Joseph H Alexander death date

Hi All, Joseph H did not die in 1854. He is in his brothers household in 1869 census and then he enlisted at age 62y in the Civil War. He survived that but then disappeared. His wife Tobitha and All of their children up and left him before 1854 due to abuse and alcoholism-- they had had enough. Tobitha had 3 brothers in Carroll county, VA and that is where they went. Eventually. after the Civil Wat, Tobitha is recorded as a widow in the census. That gives us a timeframe of Joseph H's death. Thanks, from his ggg grandaughter