Ina Cowan

Ina Bedichek was the second child of James Madison Bedichek and his wife Lucretia Ellen Craven. James was born in Virginia, his father in Switzerland, and his mother also in Virginia. Lucretia was born in Maryland, and her father in Virginia, and her mother in Maryland. Ina was born September 1, 1876, in Wisconsin, and her family moved to Texas about 1885.

In the 1880 U.S. Federal Census Ina was listed with her family who were living in Monona, Clayton County, Iowa, as follows: J.M., 35, Lucretia, 31, Ena, 7, Ina, 4, and Roy, 2. Her sister, Una, was born the following month in July of 1880. In the 1885 census for Post, Allamakee, Iowa, Lucretia, 35, was living with her children, Ena, 12, Ina, 8, Roy, 6, and Una, 5, and was working as a school teacher. Her husband, James, was not listed with them in the census, but he may have already gone to Texas in preparation for their move there later that year.

Nine years later, Ina married Mark L. Cowan in 1894, and by the 1900 census they were living in McLennan County, Texas, and were listed as follows: Mark, 40, Ina, 23, Imogene, 5, and Mark B., 1. Also living in their home were John B. McNair, 23, and Young P. Bowen, 27, both working as laborers, and Mary Bedichek, 31, Ina's cousin, who was working as a literary teacher. Mark was working as a traveling salesman. They had given birth to 3 children and one had already passed away.

In the 1910 census, they were living in Headrick Township, Jackson county, Oklahoma, and they were listed as follows with their children: Mark L., 50, Ina, 33, Imogene, 14, Homer, 11, Mabel, 9, Carl, 6, Owen, 3, and Ruth, 1 year old. Imogene, Homer and Mabel were born in Texas and the other children in Oklahoma. Mark was working as a farmer. By the 1920 census the family was living in Altus, Jackson County, Oklahoma, at 404 N. Grady, a home they owned but had a mortgage. Mark was working as a real estate agent in the farm loans industry, and they were listed as follows: Mark, 59, Ina, 43, Mabel Imogene, 19, Carl, 16, Owen, 12, Ruth, 10, Casey, 8, and Kay, 6.

Sometime after the birth of their 9th child, Mark abandoned Ina and their children, and by 1930, he was married to another woman who was half his age. They were listed in the 1930 census as M.L. Cowan, 70, and Mary Cowan, 34, and had been married for one year. They were living in Altus, Jackson County, Oklahoma. Mark was still working as a real estate agent. In 1940 they were living in Altus, in a home located at 307 West Broadway Street, which they owned valued at $5,000. Mark, 79, and Mary J., 44, had 3 lodgers living in their home, and Mark was no longer working.

In the 1930 census record Ina was divorced, also living in Altus, Jackson county, Oklahoma, at 404 N. Grady, the home she owned with Mark Cowan which was now valued at $10,000. Ina was working as a proprietor of a cafeteria and a boarding house. Living with her were her children, mother, and boarders listed as follows: Ina, 54, Mable, 29, Casey, 19, Kay, 16, Lucrecia Bedichek, 81, married daughter, Ruth Shipe, 21, her husband Jack Shipe, 23, and their daughter, Lenita Joy Shipe, 5 months old, and three boarders, Alice Worrel, a 54-year old widow, and her son, William Worrel, 18, and Hurley Evans, 30. Mable was working as a public school teacher, Casey as an usher in a theatre, Kay as a mailing clerk for a newspaper company, Jack Shipe was managing the cafeteria, Alice was working as a waitress in the cafeteria, and her son William as a soda jerk in a drug store, and Hurley as the superintendent of a creosote plant.

Ina's mother, Lucretia, passed away May 8, 1937, while in McLennan County, Texas, so it appears that she lived with Ina about 10 years or so before her death.

In the 1940 census, Ina, 63, was still living in the same home on N. Grady in Altus with her son Kay, 26, and daughter in law Maxine, 23, and seven boarders. Ina was listed as the owner of a cafeteria, Kay as a student at an insurance school, and Maxine as a bookkeeper for a newspaper. Two of her boarders were owners of a business college and two were waitresses at the cafeteria. Ina worked 52 weeks that year at 72 hours per week, but she did not disclose her income. Her daughter-in-law Maxine earned $780 income for the 52 weeks she worked at 48 hours per week in 1939 as a bookkeeper.

In a 1956 U.S. City Directory Listing for Fort Worth, Tarrant County, Texas, Ina was listed as the widow of Mark L. Cowan, living at 2937 Hunter Street, and was working as a tutor. She was still living there in 1957 and 1960, but by then was no longer working, since she was over 80 years old.

Ina Bedichek Cowan passed away at the age of 90 years old on January 14, 1967, in the Fort Worth Osteopathic Hospital from acute circulatory failure, coronary artery occlusion, arterio-sclerotic heart disease and senility. She was buried in the Aultus Cemetery in Oklahoma. Her death certificate showed her occupation as a school teacher. At the time of her death she had been living at the hospital since 1952.

The following letter was written to Ina by her brother, Ray Bedichek, a fairly well known author, on May 16, 1927, from Austin,Texas, where he was living at the time:

Dear Ina - I want to write you frankly about a matter, and won't you please write me just as frankly. Since my girls have gotten big, they do not get along with mama. it's no use trying to blame anyone, but the result is that mama is, I'm afraid, not as happy with m as she has been in former years. As you know she is nearly eighty, but wonderfully well-preserved and capable of much enjoyment of life. Bachman is in the hard-headed period in which he is rebellious of all authority, and especially of that of his grandmother, although she is much more tolerant of him than of the girls. Lillian is like a woman and like a mother, and during the past few years, there has been considerable bitterness engendered between her and mama--although most of the time they get along all right.

The girls have gotten to the age when they dress up in finery and take on a few airs, all innocent enough and natural, but mama has gotten the idea that they think themselves better than she is, and this is enough to keep their relations in a constant strain. I have been trying to devise some plan for separating them for at least a year. As soon as Mary enters the University (which will be the fall of 1928) we shall likely place her in a dormitory. Sarah will be a year older, and Bachman not so uncontrollable, I hope.

I have thought of a hundred things, but they all have serious objections. I have thought of getting a room here for mama, because I would like to be near her, but without anything to do, she would be absolutely miserable. Eddy is such a dreary place, I feel that she would not be satisfied there, and I have thought that maybe if I paid for her room and board (say $30 per month) you might like for her to stay with you a year. I, of course, would not want her to know that I was paying you anything, yet at the same time I don't feel that you could afford to have any extra financial burden to those you are already carrying. Since your girls are gone, I think there would not be any danger of the same situation of developing in your home as has in mine. She is very fond of Kasey and Kay and gets along better with boys anyway.

I am making this only as a suggestion, and want you to write me frankly just what you feel about it. If you think it will not suit you, some other arrangement can be made. Please tell me just what you thin, no matter what it is, and don't let mama know we have had any correspondence about the matter. Address me "University Station."

Una spent three with with us. Her religion seems to make her quite happy, but you know it's easy to be happy when one has assumed no responsibilities, or is it just the other way around?

Affectionately, Roy

Notes on this letter read as follows:

Grandma (Roy's mother) thought that Bachman was perfect, like his father, he could do no wrong. She was very critical of his daughters Mary and Sarah however. Bachman was Roy and Lillian's youngest child, born January 19, 1918. His daughters Mary and Sarah were 16 and 14 years old at the time this letter was written.

Other notes written by Roy's wife Lillian about this letter say: "He was a good Boy! Grandma said to Bachman when he was quite young (3 to 5 years old) in my presence and more than once. 'Your father does not love you. Your mother does not love you. Nobody loves you but Old Grandma.' I always corrected her saying, 'Nonsense, Grandma, that is not true and you know it. We both love him very much. He is our only son!"

Lillian also wrote "She stayed 8 years (Roy's mother) and made life miserable for Ruth and interfered in Ina's affairs, etc.

The girls mentioned in the above letter named Casey and Kay were Ina's two youngest children.

Roy's sister, Una, was a Christian Scientist, hence the mention of her religion in the last paragraph of the letter.

Another letter from Roy to Ina dated May 26, 1927, reads as follows:

Dear Ina;

I read your letter with very great interest, and it just the kind of letter I expected from you--noble and self-sacrificing. I could not consent, however, for you to take on any financial burden in this matter, and if the arrangement suggested is made I must be allowed to pay the entire expense. How much will it cost to fix up the screen porch and room? If it is not too much, I shall be glad to pay the cost of it, and think I ought to, by all means. And also I shall pay the board, whatever that amounts to. As for you owing me any money, please forget it. I do not consider that you owe me a cent. In any case, it would be an experiment for a year, and she would not want to come before September, I think. I want her to go to New Mexico and also to Kansas City to be with Uncle Ratio a while.

She has put me in the most embarrassing situation by asking me to find out from Lillian whether or not she (Lillian) wants her to come back. If Lillian says "yes" it will not be true and said only out of regard for my feelings; if she says "no," it will amount to a fracture in their relations that can never be healed. So you see, wither way I am in a difficult position.

What makes it particularly hard for me is that Mama thinks that she has to take care of me. Her favoritism for me is one of the main things that has angered Lillian and the girls, but of course, she cannot see this nor could it be possibly explained to her.

When I think of all that you have gone through, I can hardly consent at all for you to be bothered with the matter at all; and still as I wrote you in my former letter, mama is unhappy here. I would ten times rather she would consent to live with us and relieve her altogether from any household duties, for it is in these that the conflict comes. We could easily hire a girl to do the work at an insignificant cost. I suggested this to her some time ago, and she would not hear of it. She said she would rather be dead than doing nothing. Of course, I had to put it on the ground that the work was too great a burden, which idea, of course, she scouted.

If we do decide upon the arrangement suggested, and you agree to let me stand the money expense, perhaps you had better write here sometime during the summer suggesting that she stay with you for a year as a change, etc.

There is another matter that is troubling me, and that is that boarders often do not like to eat with elderly people. As you say, we had as well face the facts and look at all possible angles of the matter. It would not do to allow this arrangement to interfere with your business. You are a better judge of this than I am, so please tell me just what you think. Is it your custom to have the family eat with the boarders, or do you all eat before or after?

Now please let me know:

1.) How much will it cost to build the room and screen-porch.

2.) Will you let me pay for this and for board.

I wish I had time to write you a long letter about a matter suggested in your letter--viz,. suppression of bitter and angry thoughts concerning people who do us injury. I have struggled wit this same thing and have found out, as you have, that it is futile from every standpoint to nurse grudges of any kind. Jesus preached and lived forgiveness, and while I sometimes cannot forgive, I can at least ignore and refuse to allow myself the luxury of having bitter thoughts. If I allowed myself to do so, I could easily work myself into a passion about Una's attitude toward mama and toward you. I prefer, however, to excuse her on the ground that I cannot possibly know what she has gone through with, how many bitter experiences she has had which have driven her into what seems to be to be a silly interpretation of a not too wise religion at best.

Mama complained to me that Una would hardly talk to her at all, and actually told mama that she would not think of allowing her (mama) to live with her (Una). I would have thought that mama certainly misunderstood her, but for the fact that Una told me practically the same thing. "Oh," she said, "I would not think of it. We have so much freedom now. We can go where we please and do what we please with nothing to interfere." I thank the Lord that what little religion I have does not allow me to pass upon my actions solely upon the ground of what is pleasant and what is convenient for me. But there I go...it's no use even thinking such self-congratulatory thoughts.

Affectionately, Roy

Notes: After their ninth child was born, Ina's husband, Mark Cowan, left her and provided no child support. She managed by opening a boarding house and later a cafeteria. Mark married a woman half his age.

Lillian's note on this letter: "At 80 years of age she would hardly be expected to do household tasks. She didn't. It all fell on me and I was teaching a full load. Grandma was happy--Lillian was not."

Lillian also noted: "Una came to my house, found me in the hospital with an operation. Insisted on Grandma's living with one of her 3 daughters after 11 years with us."

She also noted..."Long Live Christian Science!"

Another note from Lillian: "Bedi (Roy's nick-name) was ruled entirely by his mother. She favored him above his sisters." Also "Una offered to keep her mother near her in a Christian Science home for the aged, but naturally Grandma would not agree."

Another letter from Roy to Ina dated June 10, 1927, reads as follows:

Dear Ina; Yours written Tuesday night, which I take to be June 7, was received this morning. I wired you as follows: "Write Mama today along line suggest yours seventh. She leaves here Tuesday. Glad to furnish money." Just go ahead and have the room built and I will pay whatever it costs. It will not be necessary for it to be ready before September 1, as she will want to visit around until that time. Perhaps this is the best solution of the matter, although I sorely fear that it is adding too much of a burden to you.

If I could be at home all the time, I could maintain some sort of peace, although at times I have failed. Sarah has an awfully mean tongue and a frightful temper. As a matter of fact, she has a good deal of her grandmother in her, as much as both of them would repudiate this suggestion. Lillian and Mary are in Waco, and will be until Tuesday, when I shall take mama, Bachman and Sarah up to get her leaving Mama with Ena on the way. That is the reason I wired you, as I wish it settled before mama goes, and I did not want to suggest the arrangement to her until she had heard directly from you. As soon as she receives your letter, I shall take the matter up with her as you suggest. I am sure it is best for mama, as the continual nagging here is telling on her nerves. One cannot have good digestion, even, if he is continually in a bad humor, and the outdoor activities you suggest will have a beneficial effect. Th, too, she needs to be thrown a little more with people. You see, during school time, she is left alone in the house all day, and although she says she enjoys this part of the day most, it cannot be wholesome. People need to be taken out of themselves, except those rare individuals, philosophers, who seem to thrive in solitude.

Anyhow, we can try it or a year and if it does not work out we can make some other arrangement. When you write me, always address letters to "University Station."

Affectionately, Roy

Lillian's note; "I am reading Bedi's letters for the first time. He is often cruelly unfair to me, but I must remember that Grandma read his letters to Ina."

"Sarah had to take a lot from her grandmother who rules the whole family with a 'rod of iron', "

"Grandma did all the nagging and had or eleven years."

"Bedi told me when Bachman was born, 'Honey, you will have to look out for the little girls and the dogs. Mama hates girls and can't stand dogs. She will spoil he boy to death, just the way she spoiled me.' But she never could get along with her own daughters.

"Grandma was jealous of everybody. Bedi could never kiss me or the children in her presence. She had to get the mail. She had to answer the phone and was resentful if Bedi asked for me. She planned the new house, just like the house in Eddy."