Mere (Mary) Alexander

Mere Topi (Mary Toby) was born into the Ngapuhi iwi in the Bay of Islands in about 1847.

Mere Topi's parents, Henare and Mere Topi, would have been born in about 1825-1830. It is believed that their hapu was Te Kapotai, whose marae is at Waikere. The maunga is Kapowai and the awa Waikere.

It is believed that Mere Topi was born in or around Kororareka because the baptism records for her daughter Mihi Pane describe her as being "of Russell", so it seems that she was either born at Kororareka (as Russell had been known) or moved there when very young - she certainly considered herself as coming from there. Further, the fact that she could write her name on her marriage certificate indicates that she had been educated. Her parents' names and her own name suggest that she was educated at one of the schools run by Mary Williams (wife of the Anglican missionary Henry Williams) at Paihia or at Kawakawa. It is unlikely that she was educated at the school in Russell, because the school did not accept girls until the 1860s.

In 1872, aged 25, Mere arrived in Kawakawa. Her 1873 "intention to marry" registration noted that she had been in Kawakawa for a year at that time.

In Kawakawa, in 1872, Mere gave birth to Mihi Pane, daughter of Thomas George Williams (also ex-Russell), who had recently moved to Kawakawa with his wife Elizabeth. Thomas had been the publican of the Cricketer's Arms Hotel in Russell but had moved to Kawakawa to run the National Hotel there. Elizabeth was herself pregnant at the time that Williams got Mere pregnant. He quickly disappeared from the scene (he and Elizabeth moved to Auckland in 1875, to run the Sailor's Rest Hotel, where he died four months later).

In the meantime, on 14 May 1873, Mere married William Alexander, of Kawakawa, "a widower" then aged 39. Mere was 26. Mere was already five months pregnant with William's child, Isabella, when they married. He informally adopted little Mihi Pane and they renamed her Frances Alexander. In fact, William was not a widower. He had left a wife and a son in Douglastown (now Miramichi), New Brunswick. However, the prospect of obtaining a divorce from the other side of the world must have seemed both daunting and pointless to William - perhaps understandably it was simply easier to say "widower".

Mere and William lived in Kawakawa for approximately 18 years. He was recorded as a storekeeper on most electoral rolls, though in later years this became "labourer" and it may be that he had fallen on hard times. Certainly, the Kawakawa Coal Mine was struggling by the end of the 1880s and the whole town was in an economic slump.

Sometime between the 1890 electoral roll and the 1893 electoral roll William and Mere moved to Towai, a small settlement some 30kms south of Kawakawa.

Curiously, the supplement to the 1893 electoral roll (the first to include women) includes Mere as "Mary Alexander, Towai, domestic duties". Presumably, her anglicised name raised no eyebrows because Maori were not able to vote at that time.

Electoral rolls reveal that the couple stayed in Towai until William's death in 1903. Mere then stayed on in Towai, on her own. The 1908 electoral roll records her as Mary Ann Alexander, Towai, widow, a nice affectation which must have taken her fancy (she had been called Mary Ann Alexander as early as 1895, on her daughter Sarah Jane's marriage certificate).

By 1911, Mere had left Towai for Auckland, her son Harry still being with her. It is likely that she came to Auckland to be close to her daughter Frances, who had married James Godfrey Poole and had moved to Devonport.

Mere is recorded in the 1911 electoral roll as "Mary Ann Alexander, Victoria St West, widow". By the 1914 electoral roll, however, she had styled herself Mary Jane Alexander and was living at Waterview Rd, Devonport. Her daughter Frances was at 34 Queen's Parade.

By 1917, Mere was living at 3 Duke St Balmoral, according to Harry's army records.

By 1919 a Marie Alexander was listed in the roll for that year, living at Hinemoa Rd, Birkenhead, and this may be Mere. On 8 November 1919, she was admitted to the Auckland Mental Hospital, suffering from dementia. Frances had asked for her to be committed because she was living with Frances and James by that stage and was prone to wandering off. She was also periodically delusional. Her mental health records indicate that her condition may have been caused by grief at the death of her son. This must be a reference to Harry, who seems to have died of influenza at some point between his 1917 discharge from the army for medical reasons and Mere's admission. Unfortunately, Harry's death records have yet to be located.

Mere ended her days in Auckland, dying at the Auckland Mental Hospital on 13 July 1922, of "senile decay", according to her death certificate. She is recorded as the mother of two sons and three daughters (in fact, at least five daughters) and her parents as Henry and Mary Toby, though their hapu was not known to the coroner. William - who would surely have known - had died long before her (he was older than her by 13 years).

The Coroner's Report on Mere states that, prior to her admission in 1919 , she had lived at 34 Queen's Parade (with Frances and James) and that, when she had become poorly in the Mental Hospital and confined to bed from 8 July 1922, she had been visited by her relatives (no doubt Frances and James). She died on 13 July 1922, five days later.

Mere is buried in the Anglican section of Waikumete cemetery in west Auckland (row 6, plot 48). She was 75 years old and had been born in about the year of Hone Heke's and Kawiti's defeat at Ruapekapeka, at Governor Grey's hands - the first act of official European aggression against Maori, through the degradation and emasculation of her people by an endless tide of settlers, to a new country of cities, mechanised agriculture and the birth of commercial aviation. She was among the first of a new way of life for Maori and she embraced it, rather than fought it, and brought her children successfully into a new world in which they have flourished and succeeded, regardless of race. She did so with very little to her name and she did so in spite of significant odds.

Kua hinga he totara i te wao nui a Tane. He kakano ahau i ruia i Rangiatea.

A totara has fallen in the forest of Tane. I am a seed which was sown in the heavens of Rangiatea.