Muriel Wythe

Service to Remember and Celebrate the Life of Muriel Maud Smith Thursday 21st February at 2.00pm Cam Valley Crematorium, Great Chesterford Enter to: Wind Beneath my Wings Bette Midler

Words of Welcome

Welcome to everyone as we meet here this afternoon to say goodbye to Muriel and also, more importantly, to remember and to celebrate her life. There are others who would have wished to join us and are unable to be here but we know that they will have Muriel very much in their thoughts right now. After our service the family will be hosting a small gathering at Little Chesterford Village Hall and you are all invited to join them there, to share refreshments and also your memories of Muriel. The last few weeks have been very sad ones for Muriel’s family but they’ve been able to take some comfort in the kind words and supportive messages and cards they’ve received. It’s never easy to lose someone who has been so central in your lives for so long. Life will certainly be different without Muriel and to grieve is the most natural sign of your love for her. But you will, of course, also find solace in the many treasured memories you have. Reading: Weep Not for Me

Weep not for me though I am gone into that gentle night. Grieve if you will but not for long upon my soul’s sweet flight. I am at peace, my soul’s at rest; there is no need for tears; For with your love, I was so blessed for all those many years.

There is no pain, I suffer not, the fear now all is gone. Put now those things out of your thoughts; in your memory I live on.  Remember not my fight for breath; remember not the strife. Please do not dwell upon my death but celebrate my life.  Tribute 

Muriel Maud Wythe arrived in the world on 30th January 1925 in Weeley, north east Essex. She was the third of eight children born to Thirza and Charles, who worked for an agricultural engineering business. Muriel had four sisters – Renee, Jean, Daphne and Ethel – and three brothers – Sonnie, Cliff and Cyril. When Muriel was of primary school age, the family moved into a small terraced house in David Street, Ipswich. As the family grew in numbers, sleeping arrangements, in particular, became somewhat cosy. However, they were later to move to 499 Nacton Road on the edge of town, close to Ipswich Airport. This semi-detached house afforded the luxury of extra bedrooms … and the joy of having so much more space after their previous home. Muriel was fourteen years old when the war began. She always remembered the house opposite her family’s home taking a direct hit from a falling bomb. It was a sobering thought that she and her family were living in such difficult times when a chance moment could mean the difference between life and death. Muriel had now left school and had started employment and, for her, this was factory work in Ipswich. But it wasn’t all work and no play. There may have been a war on but young people were enjoying life to the full. In a time when there was danger in many forms every day, it was best to fill your spare time with fun when you could. There were dances to go to and, with the many air bases in the area and naval ships docking on the east coast, there were always many young servicemen looking for dance partners. When the US Air Force arrived in East Anglia, there was even more excitement when young Americans joined in the fun. Muriel often described these days as some of the best in her life. At one such dance, Muriel met a young Scot. His name was Robert Smith, but usually known as Bert. He hailed from Edinburgh and he was serving in the Royal Navy. The two became close and, to use more modern parlance, became an item. When the war ended and Bert was de-mobbed, his return to Edinburgh meant their courtship became rather difficult. It didn’t stop him getting on his pushbike and cycling down to Ipswich to see his young sweetheart, a journey which took him seven long days. It certainly must have been love that spurred him on! Distance was clearly no barrier and Muriel and Bert were eventually married in Ipswich on 20th March 1948. They were both twenty three years of age. Their first home was in Edinburgh, with Bert’s parents. Bert worked in a paper mill and Muriel took a job in a rubber boot factory. It wasn’t long before they welcomed the arrival of their first child, David, in 1949. The couple moved into their own home in The Haggs, a more isolated spot outside the city. Near the house there were railway sidings, where the Royal Train would stop on its way to Balmoral. Muriel recalled how she would hold David in her arms and wave to what she hoped were the royal occupants! The small family relocated to the Edinburgh suburb of Balerno. It was while they were living here that Muriel and Bert happily added to their number with the births of Irene in 1953 and Margaret the following year. Three had now become five. In 1961 Bert’s work took the family to a new home in Selly Oak, Birmingham. David was in secondary school, the girls were in primary and Muriel acquired part time bar work. The Smiths were not to be in Selly Oak for too long though. Four years later, they moved to Oxford, again as a result of Bert’s work, followed by a quick relocation to Sawston in 1966. Muriel now found herself a new role as a machine operator at Spicer’s, a long standing company producing office supplies and equipment. The family was soon to welcome new members as Irene married Andrew in 1971 and Margaret and Peter were wed three years later. In 1974 Muriel, Bert and David upped sticks once more and made a new home in Ivybridge, just outside Plymouth. In her new community Muriel found work as a hospital kitchen assistant and a sweet factory operative. In time there was the happy arrival of grandchildren. Nicola and Matthew were born to Irene and Andrew whilst Margaret and Peter were to welcome Louise and Claire. After a long working life, Bert was finally able to retire and enjoy some well- earned free time. He and Muriel took advantage of more time spent together doing the simple things which gave them pleasure. However, Bert’s health later began to deteriorate and 1993 saw the couple making a move to Haverhill to be nearer to their daughters and their grandchildren. This gave them the opportunity not just for Bert to feel more secure but also for the couple to spend more quality time with their family. And the family was increasing! Over the years great-grandchildren were appearing: Isla and Freya; William and Olivia; Jack and Maisie. David had continued to live in Plymouth but dreadful news was to arrive in 2008 when the family discovered that he had developed leukaemia. David very sadly passed away the same year. It was such a shock for everyone. Bert had been living with dementia for a few years at this point and Muriel had been taking care of him, with the regular help of Irene and Margaret. They were worrying times for Muriel. She cared so much about her husband’s health and well-being and she, and the family, were so terribly saddened when he passed away in 2010. Muriel continued to look after herself until a fall resulted in a broken leg. It was time for her daughters to step in again and so, for some time, Muriel lived alternately with Irene and with Margaret. When a bungalow was found in Duxford in 2013, near to Margaret, it seemed the perfect opportunity for Muriel to have her own place again. It was here that she started to gain strength, confidence and independence once more. She enjoyed life and was secure in the knowledge that help, if she needed it, was just around the corner. We’ve looked at some of the facts of Muriel’s life but what else should we remember about her? Muriel was close to all her siblings but she seemed to have a special bond with her sisters Jean and Ethel and cousin John. Family was important to Muriel and there were regular gettogethers of the Ipswich branch. Irene and Margaret recall many a lively gathering with Muriel and their Suffolk relatives, chatting and playing cards with numerous aunties, uncles and cousins and tucking into the vast spread of sandwiches and home-made sausage rolls! Muriel once took driving lessons and passed first time. It was a proud moment but, curiously, she never drove again. She loved her bingo. She’d played for many years throughout her life and, most recently, at Whittlesford Social Club. Crosswords, puzzles, card games and quiz shows were also favourite activities. And she loved a good mystery drama on television. There were simple but pleasurable early holidays, when her children were small, spent at Portobello, on the coast outside Edinburgh. Later times saw breaks on the Suffolk coast at Felixstowe, where Ethel, and her husband, Ron, had a beach hut. Simple pleasures of paddling at the edge of the water and debating over where the windbreak should go. Then there was the family day trip to the Isles of Scilly, where a mild sunny morning gave way to the arrival of a fierce gale, a very choppy return ferry trip, a midnight arrival back at the mainland and the night spent on a stationary train. It was the longest ‘day trip’ ever but something the family would often laugh about later. Although Muriel herself was quite a private person, she loved hearing about what was going on in people’s lives and to share an interest and pleasure in their stories and their news. On the 4th Jan 2019 Muriel was unfortunate in experiencing another fall at her home, which knocked her health badly, leading to a stay in hospital. On 7th February this strong and resilient lady finally passed away peacefully with her close family around her. She has been such a big part of everyone’s lives and she will be very much missed.

Our Nana Words from Louise 

This is a tribute to our Nana. A Nana who made us laugh and gave us so many wonderful memories. Never one to mince her words, you could guarantee that every visit was a memorable one. I, Claire, Nicola and Matthew can remember, from a very early age, yearly visits to Plymouth in the summer holidays to visit Nana and Grandad. Summers spent there always meant we went to Bigbury-on-Sea to spend days at the beach. While we were all off having fun, building sandcastles and playing in the sea, Nana spent most of the time trying to get the windbreak in the right position, often with very little success. Another annual fixture were trips to Ipswich to visit Auntie Ethel, Uncle Ron, Wendy and Beverly. You could always guarantee several games of bingo round Ethel and Ron’s house. Playing with the flimsy cards and paper counters was simple. But it engaged us as a family and meant we shared those moments together, which have made the memories we have to this day. Nana loved bingo so much that she played it at any place she visited. Even when she went to see Nicola in Aberdeen one year, there wasn’t one bingo hall she didn’t visit. When it came to bingo, she certainly had a lucky streak and had many big wins. Despite just having turned ninety-four, she was definitely young at heart. This was certainly evident when recently in hospital. She told Clare that she was stuck on a ward with “a bunch of old people”. Me and Claire can even remember her showing us that, from standing, she could touch her toes. As a then eighty-something, it would have put most twentysomethings to shame. She certainly knew how to have a laugh and had a distinctive laugh at that, which many of us ladies in the family seem to have inherited. She certainly wasn’t your ‘average’ Nana. Nana loved her family and adored her great grand-children – Jack, Maisie, William, Olivia, Isla and Freya. Whenever we visited or spoke on the phone, she would always take an interest in how they were doing at school and which clubs they were doing. They may not have the memories that we all have and are too young to fully understand what has happened, but we have photos and our own stories that we can share with them throughout their lifetimes. I did ask Jack what he remembers most about her and he said “She always had a sweetie jar on her table and would offer me and Maisie sweets”. Coming from a boy with a sweet tooth, this was always a bonus! Nana, you may have gone to heaven but you’ll always be in our hearts and in our memories. At last you can be with Grandad again and I’m sure you’ll both be watching over us.

Sleep tight, Nana, and thank you for being you. XXX

Music for Reflection:  The Rose Bette Midler  Committal  Muriel … we would like to say these words.  To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose on earth; a time to be born and a time to die.  Here in this final act, in sorrow but without fear. with respect and gratitude, we bid you farewell. With our true love, we leave you in peace and we commit your body to its natural end.  The Lord’s Prayer  Closing Words  This afternoon we have remembered and celebrated Muriel’s life.  This straightforward, strong lady was very practical and capable, like many of those in her peer group who lived through war time and rationing - the ‘make do and mend’ generation.  We can see from the charming portrait photograph on your Order of Service that, even as a girl, she seems to look sure, determined and confident.   

Muriel had strong values and standards. She taught her children manners and respect for others and to appreciate what they had in life. And, along with this, she and Bert provided a safe and very caring environment for them.

It seems that Muriel was a wonderfully keen observer rather than a lady of many words. She was quite a private person, not someone to share her innermost thoughts and feelings but, again, maybe this says something about her generation, her life experience and her fortitude, and this also showed itself in her independence and her determination not to rely on others or make a fuss.

She was always loved and, in turn, she loved and was very proud of her family, from her own children through to her grand-children and great grand-children, and continued take a keen interest in everything they were doing and all their achievements. And there was her dear husband and, of course, there was the Ipswich branch – her much loved band of siblings, cousins and all.

So continue to keep Muriel in your thoughts and your hearts by sharing your memories and recalling all the times you spent with her, whether holidays, family get-togethers or just simple everyday moments. They are sure to make you smile.