Rhea Whitaker Folsom

Lessons from the Life of Rhea Folsom Smurthwaite June 8, 1908 – October 6, 1955

(Excerpted from The Life of Rhea Folsom Smurthwaite, by her daughter Diane Smurthwaite Wheeler, with some additions and condensed by her son Michael June 2013)

Birth and Early Years. Rhea Folsom, was the seventh child and fifth girl of eight children born-in-the-covenant to Hugh Broadbent Folsom, a school principal for nearly 40 years, and Josephine Whitaker Folsom, a genteel lady, a University of Utah-educated woman from Centerville, Utah. Rhea entered mortality on June 8, 1908, a year after her family moved into a newly built house on Lincoln Avenue and Ninth South in Salt Lake City, Utah. She was blessed with rich brown hair and very fair complexion, so fair she would inspire comment by onlookers throughout her life. As a child Rhea enjoyed reading, and on occasion, in search of quiet and privacy, she would climb out on the roof, walk along the rain gutter, and sit or lie in the V formed between the gables. She and her younger sister, Dorothy, were often treated like twins, as their mother dressed them in matching clothes. They also shared one of two double beds in the four-girl bedroom. Yet, their mother trusted Rhea, the responsible one, to look after her younger sister. Her Sister Dorothy would later say that this early child-care responsibility helped make Rhea to be aware of other’s needs and develop her unselfish and helpful attitude which came to so characterize her. During the summers, the Folsom (city) girls would work picking cherries and apricots in the orchard of the Centerville (country) home their father purchased to supplement his income. While these were “fun” tasks, Rhea would lighten the load by entertaining the helpers by retelling stories or movies and books. Nobody cared that she embellished and enhanced the stories to make the work time pass more pleasantly. To expose their children to a culture of music, Hugh and Josephine played classical music on the family wind-up Victrola, and offered them piano lessons. None were pressured to learn; however, one daughter, Juliet, could play by ear and compose little melodies, but the other girls seemed to lose interest. (Yet, later in life, Rhea would again take piano lessons together with her daughter Dorothy Mae, and learned to read music and play a few hymns. This later training was important in preparing her to win appointment to the Tabernacle Choir. Furthermore, she would later instruct her son, Michael, that he should take enough piano lessons that he could play all the hymns in the Hymn book “right off”. She told him, this piano skill would prepare him to play in the Church for the rest of his life. Indeed, as predicted by his mother, Michael has played the hymns in Church almost every week for the last 50 years.) Rhea always maintained a deep and abiding love for her parents, Hugh and Josephine. Later, her husband Charles would describe this love: “ In her fond and devoted manner, Rhea always referred to her proud parents as Papa and Mama. Greater love had no child than Rhea for her parents and family.” Her “like-a-twin” sister Dorothy would similarly praise her parents: “We had harmony and “Love at Home.” We had respect for our parents and each other. I have thought many times that if any of us strayed, it was not because we hadn’t been taught better.” Courtship and Marriage in the Salt Lake Temple. Rhea’s avid interest in reading must have contributed to her excellent achievement at East High School, because in her junior year, she was granted early release to attend a mathematics class at the nearby University of Utah. After her graduation from East High, June, 1925, she attended the U of U, and obtained part-time work in downtown Salt Lake at Auerbach’s Department store. During breaks, while socializing with the other employees, she met a dapper fellow, four years older than she was, who worked in the shoe department. His name was Charles Smurthwaite, the very man she would later marry. She accepted his invitations to accompany him on outings to get acquainted with Salt Lake social life. They also joined friends on outings to the local canyons east of Salt Lake. While Rhea was somewhat shy and more reserved, Charles was the life of whatever party they attended. Charles would smilingly joke and rally the group together drawing Rhea into the center with him. She was also pleased to see the positive impression Charles made on her family, especially her mother, Josephine. From the time they were first introduced, Charles (known as “Chick”) and Josephine became fast friends. During their courtship of seven or eight months, whenever Chick brought candy, flowers, or a gift to Rhea, he remembered to bring another for her mother. (As Michael would later teach his institute students, “when you court your fiance, court the whole family too.”) The other family members noticed this attention and joined in the admiration. According to the receipt, Chick paid two dollars down on a $188 engagement ring on October 31st, 1927. He proposed while on an outing in Logan Canyon with friends. The Salt Lake newspaper announced the engagement showing a picture of Rhea wearing a pull-down hat and coat with a fur neckpiece. The article mentioned several parties to be held in Rhea’s honor. The week of the wedding in the Salt Lake Temple, the newspaper showed another picture, this time of Rhea in her bridal gown which was cut in the latest fashion, with pearl beading sewn on the upper bodice and hand-made lace edging. An eight-yard train cascaded down from her head, and her bouquet featured three dozed deep pink and white roses. They were sealed in the Salt Lake temple on December 28th, 1927, with President David O. McKay officiating, and father Hugh B. Folsom acting as one of the witnesses. Early Married Life and Moving the Young Family into the Liberty Ward. Soon after marriage, Charles was transferred to Great Falls, Montana to run a shoe store. He moved his wife and baby Dorothy Mae there a while later. His first son Charles Jay was born there. After a while, the young family decided to return to Salt Lake to closer to family. They surely must have loved Liberty Ward and Liberty Stake, near Liberty Park, because their first three homes were all located within its boundaries, 366 Harvard Avenue, 1186 Fifth East, and 1065 Denver Street. They lived in this ward for nearly 25 years! It was in these Liberty Ward homes where Rhea Jean, Elaine, Michael and Diane were born between 1933 and 1943. All the children would attend Liberty school, and the four eldest attended Linclon Jr. High and South High Schools. Eager to be supportive, mother Rhea was active in the PTA’s of all the schools. One year she served simultaneously as PTA president of Liberty Elementary and Linclon Jr. High! Indeed she was a super-mom! In a letter from Rhea’s older sister, Florence Folsom Wilson, described Rhea in glowing terms : “I remember when she had one of her children, she had such quick notice that she had the baby at home without any help! When she was Relief Society President and they made quilts, she worked so hard at it that when she was thru with the project, she would often end up with a sore throat. She never wasted a minute in her life. She was always doing worthwhile projects, She was cheerful all the time. . . . She was always very quick and efficient in everything she did. I don’t ever remember anything said about her that wasn’t complimentary.” Rhea revealed her fundamental family values and showed some literary talent by writing a poem about parenting called, “It Isn’t Easy to Be Parents”: It isn’t easy to be parents, yet it’s fun To build a home and family, it takes more than one. The dad’s the head. He gives his life to earn our bread. And praise or thanks are seldom ever said. He has the force and strength to bear. . . He buys the house, the food, the clothes we wear. Husband, father, friend to all, We love and respect him most of all It isn’t easy to be parents, it’s a game.

                             For this part of life, you’ll ne’er win fame. When problems, troubles, and crosses come, You try to figure out what wrong you’ve done. If everything came easy, could we learn That only after sorrows do our joys we earn?

It isn’t easy to be parents, it’s a test; Only when we work for others do we do our best. We’re put on trial, the verdict’s won

When our family’s grown, and the job is done. If they should fail, you lose your crown. If they stay firm you win renown.

It isn’t easy to be parents, but you’re repaid When you see honest, useful citizens you’ve made. If each could only make your dreams come true, Work in the Church, and pay his honest due, Then you can smile, and fold your hands when you are laid to rest, Secure in mind that you have done your best.

Ever Diligent in Church & Community Service. Always active in Church callings, Rhea served in the Young Women’s Organization for several years as her mother had done. While attending a stake leadership meeting, she met and became good friends with a Sister Peterson, wife of Mark E. Peterson, of the Quorum of the Twelve. Sister Peterson returned home reported to her husband that she had met “the most lovely lady, Rhea Smurthwaite, at the meeting.” They would become good friends along with Lillian Carlisle and Lucille Tayler. (After her passing, Elder Peterson would later speak at Rhea’s funeral.) In time, Rhea would find her niche in the kingdom, that of Relief Society President. When called, she served for fifteen years as Relief Society President, and participated actively in many area service projects, charity fund raisers, visiting the sick, bringing food to those in need, and fully enjoying making quilts, knitting, sewing, and developing domestic skills. Her picture appears many times in the local newspaper as a participant and leader in many charity and social activities. She also received a certificate signed by the US Director of Selective Services in recognition of “services rendered to the Nation and to your State on Recognition Day, October 16th, 1940.” She regularly volunteered to perform election booth duties, and loyally assisted Chick in support of his Democrat party promotions and candidates. She loved making home-made bread and cookies. (She had the custom of leaving cookies on a plate on the kitchen table for the kids to eat after getting home from school. However, the kids soon caught on. She put the slightly burned or overcooked cookies on the table and would hide the nicer ones. She would later query, “How come the cookies on the table aren’t eaten, but the hidden ones are?”) (Ha!) Rhea’s youngest daughter, Diane, recalls her spending much of her spare time quilting, knitting and sewing for the family. She reported: “At age 12, I looked over my wardrobe and found only a few items store-bought. My sweaters, blouses, dresses, skirts, play shorts, and coats were all hand made by Mama. Even some of my petticoats and nightgowns were made from nylon left over from Tommy Jefferson’s parachute donation. I failed to appreciate the love and work she had put into these clothes. Instead, I longed for the ordinary clothes my friends wore.” In 1952, after 25 years in Liberty Ward, and after Elaine, Dorothy Mae and Rhea Jean married, within a nine-month window no less, Chick and Rhea sold the five bedroom 1065 Denver Street home and moved up on the east bench to 1620 Emerson Avenue. In the Colonial Hills ward Rhea first served as a Blazer teacher in Primary, but was soon called to serve as counselor in the Primary presidency. Dr. David Hansen recalled that Rhea was “his favorite teacher. She did a lot of activities and took them places.” She also formed a music alliance with two neighbors, Sister Hassel and a Brother Johnson. All applied and tried out for the Tabernacle Choir together, were accepted and car-pooled to the twice-a-week rehearsals and Sunday performances. On Sundays, Michael recalls listening to the choir on the radio and feeling satisfied that even though his mother was not at home with the family, he knew where she was and what she was doing. Once when listening to the he thought he could discern and pick out her alto voice from all the others. Rhea was also an active member of the “Liberty Camp” of the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers. She contributed life stories and other materials for that organization’s archives and also kept the genealogical records current. (Two daughters, Dorothy Mae Matern and Diane Wheeler, would later become members of the Executive Board of the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers organization where they served for many years. The Choir’s Trip to Europe and Rhea’s Unexpected Departure for Home. In 1955, Rhea became very excited with the news that the entire Tabernacle Choir was going to on a concert tour of Europe and perform in many famous cities as well as the dedication of the Swiss Temple. Not only was Chick invited, but Rhea’s Sister, Edna Hanks, and her husband, Had, were able to join the Choir on its first trip abroad, leaving August 10 to October, 1955. During this trip preparation period, one afternoon soon after arriving home from Roosevelt Jr. High, Michael remembers his mother approaching him near the kitchen sink as he was filling a drinking glass with water. This was a bit unusual for her. She looked at him and said in a serious tone, “When you get married, make sure you marry a healthy woman. You want someone who will be strong, able to manage the children and stand by you through thick and thin.” Michael, a bit taken aback at this life-guidance message, looked at her, nodded as if to say, “OK, Yes, Mom,” and moved away thoughtfully. Finally the departure day arrived. Interestingly, on the day the choir was leaving the Union Pacific Train Station for its European tour, the Deseret News featured a picture of none other than the Smurthwaite family saying goodbye at the station. Rhea is shown holding her granddaughter Julie Wright kissing her cheek, Chick is shown holding his grandson Bradley while their two daughters Elaine Wright and Diane Smurthwaite look on. Why wasn’t their son Michael in the picture? Just as mother was leaving the Emerson avenue house, she had begged Michael to come to the train station with her to bid them goodbye. But 14-year-old Michael, who didn’t like mushy goodbyes, pushed his mother away as she reached out her hands for a final embrace, saying, “I’ll see you when you get back.” This childish act would forever after haunt him knowing that his last memory of being with his mother was his non-loving act. The following are extracts from Rhea’s personal trip diary of the Choir’s European Tour:

       August 27th- Went to temple groundbreaking. Went to Shakespeare play King Lear. Chick and I had never seen a real play like this before. Wonderful dramatic actors.

September 5th- Our landlady had tears in her eyes to see us go, said we were the best guests she’d ever had, and good luck to us and our Church. Second class train to Berlin. Lush lush green country. Highlight of trip was when many saints met us a depot and sang and we joined in English. There were many tears. Everyone seemed glad to see us.
September 11th- Big day of temple dedication. Dedicatory prayer was complete and wonderful, and the Hosanah Shout signified our approval. Chick’s lost traveler’s checks returned less $50 currency.
September 22nd-Michael Angelo ceiling had giant figures telling story of Old Testament and many saints. End wall his idea of the Judgment, but the baptism of Christ as if sprinkling. . . . Saw some of the original parchment sheets of the Bible. . . .
From Paris, in her last letter home, written Saturday, September 24th, 1955, Rhea wrote: Had and Chick had to figure out schedules and buy tickets with an interpreter. Daddy really gets around. One comment he made, “Michael and Diane should study languages.” . . . We liked Switzerland for his neatness and cleanliness. I think Daddy will admit that the trip up (mountain) in the little cable cars . . . was the highlight of our whole trip. . . . Well, be good kids and I’ll try not to bore you with too much about the trip because I with all of you could have the same experiences some day. I love you all and hope you are all very happy. Be seeing you soon, Love, Mom.”
After traveling with the Choir for three weeks, Chick and Had flew home to work while the two sisters, Edna and Rhea, remained a week for additional site seeing. Later, the two sisters flew across the Atlantic, and, then, together with four other returning Choir members, connected with a United Airlines flight from Denver to Salt Lake. However, they never made it to the Salt Lake airport where Chick, 14-year-old Michael and 12-year old Diane were waiting. It was the custom of United Airline pilots to fly over the beautiful Medicine Bow Peak area to permit the passengers to look out at the grand scenery below. However, on this day, the United Airlines plane, slightly overloaded, encountered a downdraft near the top of the 12,013 foot high majestic Medicine Bow Peak, failed to clear the top and crashed into the side of the granite mountain, instantly killing all 55 persons aboard. This was the worst airline accident in history up to that date, October 6, 1955. Traveling to Wyoming, Uncle Golden Stewart was able to retrieve a few identifiable items from the crash site. Among them was mother’s purse and diary – quoted above. Upon opening the purse, one found her glasses with the plastic rims . . . melted. The sudden loss of these two sisters shocked their families. Chick and Had went together to Grandma Josephine’s to tell her the terrible news. Loving neighbors and friends brought food and condolences to the family in the Emerson Avenue house. Michael remembers seeing their former Bishop from Liberty Ward, Clarence H. Tayler, enter the front door and extend his arms to Charlie. And then, for the first time in Mike’s life, he saw his father cry as he reached out and plunged his head into the bishop’s chest, weeping. This scene, seemed to challenge Mike’s denial, and caused him to release the flood gate of sorrow within him. He ran downstairs, fell upon his bed as waves of grief coursed through him and released a pent-up fountain of tears he’d been denying since he’d heard news of the crash two days earlier. Yet, life goes on, and thank the Lord for the Restored Gospel! We know we shall one day be joyously reunited in the resurrection. Her sister Florence reported that before leaving for Europe at a farewell party in the family’s Centerville house, Rhea told Diane, “If I don’t come back, I want you to be a good girl.” Florence also remembers hearing Rhea say, “When I die, I want it to be quick.” So she really got her wish. May Rhea’s marvelous example motivate us all to be “good boys and girls.”

Conclusion. Rhea Folsom Smurthwaite, 1908 – 1955, was an elect lady, a consecrated disciple of Christ, a saint among saints. Describing her faith, her dear husband once said, “She was as faithful as the day is long. When the Brethren said ‘Jump!’, she’d say,’ How high?’ While her death was a tragedy, we find solace in the Lord’s promise regarding the deaths of the righteous: “. . . those that die in me shall not taste death, for it shall be sweet unto them”(DC 42:46). We know of her faith, diligence and worthiness. We have no doubt she will resurrect on the morning of the resurrection of the just. May each of us strive to emulate her wondrous Christ-like qualities that we too, may be worthy to join her on that glorious day when loved ones will reunite. “And we will receive them into our bosom, and they shall see us; and we will fall upon their necks, and shall fall upon our necks, and we will kiss each other” (Moses 7:63). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interesting Post Script. More than a half –century after a parent’s death, how do their children remember them? How do their children characterize them in their memories? Some 58 years after Mother passed away, three of her daughters and one son, and one daughter-in-law and three sons-in-law, were enjoying a sibling retreat near St. George Utah, and the topic how we remembered our parents came up. All present were 70 years of age or over, and all but one had personally known and loved Rhea Smurthwaite. Each was asked to close our eyes and try to visualize and hear mother Rhea in the picture album of the mind. Summary of Findings: The descriptive word most frequently written was “Loving,” and under “loving” were the following nine similar words: compassionate, loved family, thoughtful, kind tolerant, gentle, friendly, cared for others, good desires for children. Hence, she was described as loving thirteen times by seven people who knew her best. The next most frequently mentioned personality characteristic (9 mentions) was Honesty, with integrity, responsible, truthful, cautious, good desires for children counted as synonymous. Next came “Cheerful” with 8 synonyms, happy, positive, faith in the future, playful, laughter, and fun-loving, followed by “self-assured” (7) with synonyms of self-esteem, confident, secure, courageous, proud, and serious. The last two most frequently mentioned qualities for Rhea were at six each, dealt with the areas of “competent” and “good leader.” These categories included such descriptors as good organizer, service-minded, humble, modest, faithful, calm, and supportive of the brethren. Lastly, the following descriptors were mentioned only once but are illustrative of the overwhelmingly positive impact Rhea made upon her children and in-laws: Artistic, creative, beautiful, good cook, musical, frugal, language skills in English. The only less-than-positive descriptors were mentioned once each: Frustrated/overwhelmed as a young mother, discouraged, at times dreary, brooding, and sorrowful.

Findings: This summary demonstrating the descriptive words carried in the hearts and minds of her living children and their spouses some 58 years after her death may well represent the emotional/attitudinal legacy of Rhea Smurthwaite. Of the many sterling character and personality traits she possessed, those remembered and mentioned most frequently seem to be those qualities which persistently demonstrated. It is also affirmed that many of these remembered qualities were consciously and unconsciously transmitted to her children, who, in similar manner also transmitted them into the minds and hearts of her grandchildren. It is further believed that, to a greater or lesser extent, these qualities influenced and continue to influence our decisions and actions, personality and character. Thus we see, Rhea Smurthwaite’s legacy of love and faith still lives in the hearts of her descendents, . . . and always will.

June 13, 2010 Memories of Mother by Michael B. Smurthwaite

I really did remember my Mother’s B-day this year. It was last Tuesday, June 8th. In memoriam, I read again from the little blue book, the official record of the Tabernacle Choir’s trip to Europe in 1955. As I read the glowing reviews and news articles of the trip, I thought of how thrilled she must have been to sing in the choir on its triumphant trip through the concert halls of Europe. Of some of those choir venues and successes, I recall my father saying in rare adulation, “They turned the place on fire!” (High praise from a man who seldom commented about spiritual things.) Of Mother’s faith my father said: “If the Brethren said “jump”, she’d ask, “how high!” Another line I remember my father saying about the Europe trip with Mother, “She bought loads of mementos for everyone. She was a walking gift shop.” However, none of those survived the crash, but we do have the one the cuckoo clock that Dad hung in our front room for decades. (We have the clock because he brought it home early with him.) These memories, the glorious music and the gift-buying for everyone provides me some solace as I picture my mother’s smiling joy experienced in her last days. I just know she was happy seeing Europe, buying things for family, and enjoying the spiritually uplifting choir concerts. Carrying this warm memory helps soothe the loss I feel when I turn to her page in the picture album of my mind. As I read the Choir Trip booklet, I paused a long time when I saw her face on the page showing the pictures of all who passed away in the Medicine Bow Peak crash, October 6th, 1955. It’s a fine picture. She was more beautiful than I’d remembered. Some of her surviving pictures seem less flattering, but I like remembering the Gold and Green Ball picture of Rhea and her four daughters all dressed up in fancy gowns for the ball. Ah . . . visions of our Liberty Ward/Denver Street days bubble up in my mind. Thinking of her, I can not only see her face but also hear her voice, particularly her Folsom giggle-laugh which echoed Grandma Folsom, Uncles Paul and Donald, and Aunts Ethleen, Florence, Juliet, Edna and Dorothy. It was a spontaneous care free laugh. Smile lines flashed effortlessly. I’m glad I can still hear it. This is another memory that somehow uplifts me when I think of her. Whether or not it’s a fully accurate memory, it seems to me that the Folsoms had a more highly developed sense of humor and were more prone to easier laughter than were the Smurthwaites in my memory, although I remember some of their smiles too. There’s Uncle AT, Aunt Sarah, Aunt Mary and Grace. In my picture album, they all do have smiles on their faces but also radiate thoughtfulness as well. And my dad, while a social hero, always organizing group meetings or parties, leading the group in old-favorite sing-a-longs, beneath his overt smiles is a person somewhat serious, somehow responsible for seeing things run right. But the Folsoms were more relaxed, easy going, perhaps built on an underlying confidence that things will work out OK. And, I still remember some advice and teachings mother gave me, one in particular. As I came home from Roosevelt Jr. High one afternoon, I entered the kitchen (1620 Emerson Avenue house), and there she was, right there at the sink. She looked at me and said, “Michael, whatever you grow up to become, be the very best you can be at it.” She was earnest in her words and I just said, “Sure, mom, OK.” This memory in my youthful mind became distorted as I somehow would think that I had to be “the best” at whatever I decided to be rather than just “do my very best.” So, unless I was “the best” I felt a letdown, not good enough feeling, which feeling plagued me until I began to gradually overcome it when I was in my 30’s. Another time when I happened to be alone with her, she told me a story about Karl G. Maeser, the first president of BYU, how he said that if you drew a chalk circle around him, and if he promised that he would stay inside it, nothing on earth could get him out of the circle. Yet, if he was cast unjustly into imprison, he would do any and all things to get free. But if he gave his word to do something he would honor his promise, come what may. I still remember that little story told me by my Mother, and recall it when challenged or tempted to break my word. Of my Mother, her sister Florence wrote the following lines in tribute: “I remember when she had one of her children; she had such quick notice that she had the baby at home without hardly any help. When she was Relief Society President and they made quilts, she worked so hard at it that when she was thru with the project she would always end up with a sore throat. She never wasted a minute in her life. She was always doing worthwhile projects. She was cheerful all the time. . . . I remember hearing Rhea say, “When I die, I want it to be quick.” So she surely got her wish. . . . Rhea was always very quick and efficient in everything she did. I don’t ever remember anything said about her that wasn’t complimentary.” (Taken from Folsom Family Histories, unpublished memoirs by Diane Smurthwaite Wheeler, 1995.). Of her mother, Josephine, Rhea wrote something I seek to emulate to my very core: “As the daughter of such a choice spirit, I feel honored to pay tribute to her and hope to pattern after her good example in making my life conform to her teachings.” (See Wheeler, above.) In the summer of 1997 on the occasion of my walking toward the Medicine Bow Peak crash site in Wyoming, my eyes teared and my voice cried aloud to my unseen Mother, “I’ve tried to be the kind of man you wanted me to be, Mother. I’ve not been perfect but I’ve tried to honor you in all I do.” Thankful am I for the Gospel’s eternal perspectives, as I look forward with joy to the time when I will see and embrace my dear Mother. The words of a hymn (#286) come to mind: “Tho our rapture and bliss There’s no song can express, We will shout, we will sing o’re and o’re, As we greet with a kiss, And with joy we caress All our loved ones that passed on before. Oh what songs we’ll employ! Oh, what welcome we’ll hear! While our transports of love are complete, As the heart swells with joy In embraces most dear When in heaven our parents we meet! When our Heavenly Parents we meet! (lyrics mostly accurate.) So, please accept this tribute in honor of Mother’s and Father’s days 2010. I pray and strive that I may live the gospel so faithfully and lovingly that I may one day freely walk around the celestial kingdom worthy of eternal association with my beloved friends and parents, Charles B. Smurthwaite and Rhea Folsom Smurthwaite.