Ruth McIlvaine

Ruth Brower McIlvaine

After five daughters, Francis and Virginia (Jennie) Brower had a son, Francis. The next child was another daughter, Ruth, who was followed by three more sons. The older sisters were daughterly. Ruth was the rebel. She was nicknamed “Bootsie” because of her large feet. She loved to read and entertained her younger brothers. Her family were Baptists and did not condone drinking, dancing, card playing and the like. In summer, they sent their children to their summer home outside Philadelphia—as did many upper middle class families. The home was called Trevose and there Ruth played cards. Her mother would come out on weekends and throw the cards away. Ruth would go get more. Ruth’s father had a savings and loan/real estate business in Philadelphia. Ruth attended normal school and became a teacher. She then attended the University of Pennsylvania and got a degree in English—the only one of her siblings to attend college. At Penn she acted in plays and became fascinated with Shakespeare, a love she kept her whole life. (And why she gave Barbara and I copies of the Yale Shakespeare one Christmas!) She taught elementary school for just a few years before doing the Women’s Club route.

Ruth met her husband Reuben McIlvaine while he was attending a tent revival near Trevose. He was from a poorer family and attended college at night. After they were married and had two children, Eleanor and Alan (and several miscarriages), Mac (as he was called) attended law school. He then worked for the First Pennsylvania Co. as an estate attorney.

Her husband’s Aunt Molly lived with the family. Apparently Aunt Molly was somewhat of an invalid. When Reuben had to get ready to go to work and Al and Norie to school, Aunt Molly would grab the only bathroom and make everyone wait and wait. Mom just recalls Aunt Molly as a fact of life and a bit of a trial for Ruth. When Al was maybe 8 and Norie about 10, Ruth had an operation (gall bladder I think) and was in hospital. Reuben was in an auto accident and was on the floor below her. He wouldn’t let anyone tell her that he too was in the hospital. Aunt Molly couldn’t take care of the children so an associate of Reuben’s found Camp Miller and Camp Hagen for them. They spend that summer and many more at camp!

Ruth was a proper cook. On Sundays we would have dinner at the big stone house in Baederwood. Ruth and her sister Chrissy and her brother Charles (Chick) would be out in the kitchen cooking. Mom says that when she was growing up, the roasts varied—a ham, a pork, a leg of lamb, and a roast of beef—and the leftovers would become the dishes for that week. I remember the grocer delivering the groceries in boxes—bringing them in the back door and setting them on the big table in the center of the kitchen. Grandma had ordered them by phone. We went to the Acme, so this seemed really special. She also always had very thin sliced Pepperidge Farm white bread. We had wonder bread.

Grandma always took a rest, read, had a bath and dressed for Grandpa’s return from work and for dinner—which was taken in the dining room. I always thought she was a “lady”.

She had a “colored girl”, Edith, who came and did the laundry and cleaning. When I was born, my Dad was in the army and Mom and I lived at the Baederwood house with Edith to take care of us. The house had a maid’s quarters above the garage with a back stairs down to the kitchen, but they never had live in help. Barb, Dave, Alan and I used to play up there and eavesdrop on the adult talk in the kitchen by sitting on those back stairs.

Reuben Watson McIlvaine

Reuben was the son of Eleanor Watson who married a Catholic named Harry McIlvaine. Apparently, when Reuben was very young Harry either abandoned the family or was driven away by Eleanor’s sisters. At any rate, she and Reuben went and lived with her sister and husband. Another sister also lived with them. They were childless, so the two sisters’ children became as their own. (Note: When Gary and I went to Ireland I was told that McIlvaine was a good Orangeman name—meaning Scotch Irish and Protestant, so I am not at all sure about the Catholic part. Also, Harry was supposed to be a drunk, but since there was no tolerance for alcohol on the part of the Watsons, perhaps he just had a drink or two and was not really a drunk. We can’t know, because all record is lost.)

At any rate, Reuben and Ruth were very close to the Brower clan, hosting family parties often. At these, Uncle Chick would organize parlor games for all. It was fun! This same Uncle Chick (Ruth’s bachelor brother) worked at an auction house selling fine furnishings. He would buy things for them unasked, have them delivered and expect payment. It was always a good deal, but I think it must have been somewhat difficult for grandpa, who was prudent with his money. (The dining set that Barb has and the Persian rug that Ginny has came this way.)

Reuben was an avid gardener and grew peonies in a huge bed in the backyard at Baederwood. When Mom was growing up they lived in Fort Washington and had a grape arbor (from which grandma made jams), a vegetable garden, etc. Gardens played a large part. At Baederwood, there was an extra half lot—all wooded—where we used to play and where there were wonderful wildflowers (jack-in-the-pulpits, violets, etc.)

Reuben used to love holidays and would show up with a special gift. For Washington’s birthday we would get a paper hatchet full of candies like cherries, for St. Patricks day we would get these funny brown candies that looked like potatoes. And Easter and Valentines, etc. etc.

He had a home office on a sun porch and there was a record player out there with lots of children’s records for us. He liked music a lot. Mom says he used to listen to opera, though I don’t recall that. He did teach us lots of Irish songs and patriotic songs.

He could be very exacting as well. When we ate dinner, he would rap our knuckles with his knife handle if we weren’t showing proper manners. He had specific ideas about what we should all become. Mom wanted to be a landscape architect and he said the only respectable job for a woman was nurse or teacher. She became a teacher and never really liked it. By the time I came along, librarian had been added to his list and I became one and did like it. My brother Dave was told that grandpa would pay for medical school. But Dave turned him down and became a geologist instead. Grandpa didn’t pay.

So…they were proper, strict, loving, fun, but also products of their own times and upbringings. They imparted to me a love of literature, gardens and certain Irish tunes. I used to think that when things were not to my liking at home, I could get on the bus and for 10 cents go to their house. They would have driven me right home, but I didn’t know it then. These are some of the things I believe about my grandmother, Ruth McIlvaine, and my grandfather, Reuben (Mac) McIlvaine. Some of these thoughts are from memory, some from family stories---mostly from my mother, their daughter Eleanor (Norie) McIlvaine Clague. Virginia (Ginny) Clague Heitz Calistoga, Ca. 2004